The Circle Game, A Day in The Life
As a childe I was not innocent, but I wasn't purposely looking to sin either. I just wanted to be loved. I wanted to be secure. I wanted to explore. I wasn't looking for knowledge. I was just curious. I wanted to sit in the window and look into the yard and watch the sun blaze through the tree line as it created dragon shadows and castles on the green grass. I wanted to bounce tennis balls against the house and vacuum them up like Davey Concepcion. I didn’t want to hurt the neighbors, I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I wanted to run. I wanted to play. I wanted to be free to play "kick the can" on a warm summers night without worry… into the neighbors bushes... under a car… racing "It" to the can and kicking it.
That was joy. I wanted to be JoJo White. And Johnny Bench. And John Brockington. I wanted to sweat. I wanted to twist and turn in some amazing fashion and dish the ball with surprise. I wanted to hop over a field of desert cactus to elude Jack Lambert to make first down. I had no malice. No evil intent. No desire to sin. What happened to me... where did that little boy go?
Seasons changed and I changed with them. Richard made me make the phone call. Teri I liked you. But I didn’t know how to like you. It was just my attempt at being grown-up. I had no business being in love. I had no business offering what I hadn't even discovered in myself yet. But I succumbed to youth. I succumbed to peer pressure and believing I was older and wiser than I was. I impressed myself. I should have chosen wonder over knowledge. I should have chosen absence over action. I should have chosen the butterfly net.
The dreams would change. The cars would come and go. The "more" would come soon enough. Why did I need to rush it? Why did I need to push my way forward? I discovered what I shouldn’t have in a time that was not mine and in doing so missed out on the discovery of the world I was meant to discover. Patience was not my good fortune.
Matthew 6:34 says "Do not be anxious for tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself." Let life come to you in its time. God has given you this day and this day has enough for you. Enough anxiety, enough sorrow, but also enough joy and wonder if you will just look for it. And He has made you "enough" to handle all that comes your way this day.
Perhaps it is human nature to long and yearn for tomorrow and to want to grow up and want more. Matthew 6:33, the precursor to verse 34, says we are to "first seek the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." When we seek God first and seek to have His righteousness found in us, then we truly do have enough for whatever this day brings. Why? Because He is enough, and His righteousness is enough.
Though this song is about growing up, there is also an implication of innocence in Joni Mitchells song. An innocence that she does not seem to stray away from no matter how old the childe in her song becomes. If we think in Christian terms, would innocence not be found as one of the many aspects of God's righteousness? Seeking His righteousness in us also produces an innocence that helps us.
As God allows, we will take our turn on this carousel of life and make our way round and round. But God implies that in Him we can, over time, shed our knowledge and desire for sin and grow up in a way that pursues innocence in all of life’s dramas and dreams.
U.Art.Known;
The Circle Game
Yesterday a child came out to wonder
Caught a dragonfly inside a jar
Fearful when the sky was full of thunder
And tearful at the falling of a star
And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game
Then the child moved ten times round the seasons
Skated over ten clear frozen streams
Words like, when you're older, must appease him
And promises of someday make his dreams
And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game
Sixteen springs and sixteen summers gone now
Cartwheels turn to car wheels through the town
And they tell him,
Take your time, it won't be long now
Till you drag your feet to slow the circles down
And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game
So the years spin by and now the boy is twenty
Though his dreams have lost some grandeur coming true
There'll be new dreams, maybe better dreams and plenty
Before the last revolving year is through
And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return, we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game
Written by Joni Mitchell • Copyright © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Crazy Crow Music / Siquomb Music Publishing